Armed with a $10,000 NEH grant, the Humanities Council is studying the effect of the "Cockroach Rule" on promotions to full professor in the humanities. The rule states that candidates for promotion are expected to have a second scholarly book weighty enough that a hardbound volume "can be used to crush a cockroach to death." This rule, previously thought to be clear, has been deconstructed and shown to be ambiguous. Several impending questions face the council; What kind of cockroaches should the book kill? What if the book only stuns the insect? Is it the department, the chair, or the dean who certifies the death? If you can freeze and revive a cockroach, what is death to the cockroach, anyway? Robert D'Amico, chair of philosophy, adds, "Is this an ethical use of humanities texts?" The Council plans to publish extensive answers to these questions as soon as the money is exhausted. A review of expenditures to date shows that two Madagascar hissing cockroaches were purchased for $53. Another $973 was used to purchase sherry, cheese, and crackers. |
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